San Francisco Sex Positions (NSFW)

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If you love San Francisco as much as you love getting it on, then try out this list of sex positions modeled after some of the landmarks, neighborhoods, and bits of culture that make SF the noteworthy place that it is. Like San Francisco, these moves are perfect for people of any sexual orientation, gender identity, or partner pairing.

Whether you’re on vacation and missing home, or maybe you’re just a little oddly attracted to the city itself (we’ve all been there), you can use this list and willing partners to start exploring San Francisco from a whole new point of view.

The Kama Sutro

In this standing position, you will mimic the graceful curves of San Francisco’s local’s landmark Sutro Tower. Partners should arrange themselves back to belly in an exaltation of love, and as the Top enters the Bottom from behind they clasp their hands together, raising their combined fists toward the sky. Together you will radiate ecstasy.

Twin Cheeks

Everyone will enjoy the view when you use one of your raucous romps to tone your booty into buns of steel as if you’ve just hiked from sea level to the top of Twin Peaks. Skip the gym and head to the bedroom instead, positioning the Bottom underneath the Top while the former uses their abs and glutes to repeatedly raise their hips up and down to grind against the Top’s sexy areas.

The Vermont Street Twist

Some sex positions may claim to be the twistiest, but as is the case with Lombard Street, the accolades are a lie! The Vermont Street Twist will have you and your partner paying homage to SF’s actual windiest street by curling all limbs around each other in a face-to-face pose; legs, arms, and bodies intertwined as you roll about in bliss.

The Stinking Rose

A little fun for our fans of the great backdoors. Spice up your sex life by having the Top sit cross-legged on the floor while the Bottom sits in their lover’s lap with their back to their partner’s chest. The Bottom places their hands on the Top’s thighs and raises themselves up and down, easing the Top in and out of the “road less traveled.”

The Mission-ary

Get your gentrifornication on with this position worth standing in line for! This classic person-on-top-facing-lover-on-bottom scenario comes with a slight twist: The Bottom raises their legs up over their lover’s back and mimics the motion of pedaling a fixed-gear bicycle, no braking involved.

Tenderloins

San Francisco’s naughtiest-sounding neighborhood is the inspiration for this kinky move. Get into the much-loved doggie style position, and add a little extra flavor by spanking that rump raw, leaving your partner with – you guessed it – tender loins.

Coitus Tower

In this hallmark position, the Top – be it a man with his natural extremity or anyone with a strap-on – lies on their back with their hips thrusting upwards, their body forming the curve of Telegraph Hill. The Bottom sits atop their lover’s fire hose nozzle, back straight and arms reaching for the sky while the Top penetrates deeply from beneath.

The DINK

Are you in a Double Income No Kids household? Then make the most of that disposable income by using all that excess cash as a blanket on the living room floor while you go at it like bunnies without the fear of children walking in on you at any moment. Don’t forget the characteristic high-five afterwards.

The Loma Prieta

Make like the San Andreas Fault and rub your bodies together until the friction is too hot to ignore! You’ll get the house shaking when the clothes get torn off and the Bottom gets in the bridge position – on their back with arms and legs raising them off the ground ­–­ while the Top kneels facing their lover. The Top pumps and pumps between the Bottom’s legs until they can’t hold themselves up anymore, and they fall to the ground in euphoria.

The MUNI Masturbator

One of San Francisco’s current favorites, this position can be achieved without a partner by boarding any of San Francisco’s MUNI buses, draping a sweater across your lap, and making eye contact with as many MUNI passengers as possible while you pleasure yourself.

The Gavin Newsom

Find a fancy rug to lie down upon, then cozy up to your partner in a very uncomfortable spooning formation. Have the Bottom in the front with the Top grinding up behind them so the Top penetrates from behind while their top knee points toward the ceiling (use this picture as a guide). If you find penetration challenging, use the endless supply of gel in your hair to lubricate entry.

Escape from Alcatraz

Once all the fun is said and done, you can mix parkour with the Irish Goodbye to get the Escape from Alcatraz. More of a postcoital action, the goal of this one is to leave your one night stand’s bedroom in the most creative way possible without waking them up.

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